I admit that

Seems the more you talk about something, the easier it is to deal with. I thought about not writing another post on the subject, but right now I just need whatever will help.

The day I haven't looked forward to came yesterday. If I've learned anything valuable up until this point in my life, it's that life never turns out exactly how you may have planned it. Something I wish I could say about myself would be that I'm perfectly fine with being alone. I'm not though. I admit I need someone I can look up to so I can grow and learn from them. And I have had that blessing and I always will. The wounds are fresh and they sting. My heart aches. With time I'll be full again. I just sometimes wish I hadn't grown so attached to something I knew all along would disappear. But it was worth all the time we had together. Had it not been so, we wouldn't have been so close.

"It's not goodbye, but a see you later alligator. We love you." 

Even though this happened a week earlier than was originally planned, it was almost as if it was meant to be this way. It made me appreciate the short time we did have left. On monday harmony and I hiked Kanarra falls with the summer ward. It was weird seeing all different people. Tuesday I helped harmony tackle the first part of packing up. I brought a bunch of boxes and bags and we got to work til I had to go into my shift. That part was hard. (Mel was hanging out with Jon at the time). Wednesday we literally spent the entire day in St. G shopping for mission clothes. From 10am to 9pm. Yeah it was exhausting. But I feel like that was our last trip to St. G we would ever take. Maybe not.

Me and Melody. 

Thursday was a particular difficult day. That was when I really had some breakdowns b/c I knew that the last day I had with them in Cedar was tomorrow. I spent most of my day in my room just feeling sad, I hate to admit. I got called and we did go to Christensen's where they were able to buy another pair of mission shoes. I went in to work that night feeling much better up until we closed. Reality was setting in.

Yesterday Harm called me at 11 am with the news that their dad was coming in an hour. I thought that was it. I didn't even see it coming b/c the plan was that they were leaving in the evening. I had this whole thing planned that we'd go have fun one last time but that all changed. I didn't even get ready and went down there as quickly as I could. In fact, none of us got ready. Mel had just woken up when we found all this out. I helped them pack up/clean some more even after their parents came. And I honestly thought that would be it. Then their dad asked what I was doing for the rest of the day and I just said I had the day off. I got invited to go to lunch and the movie with them to my complete surprise.

Any guesses what we went and saw?

Lunch at Chill's and then to watch The Man of Steel. <3 What an awesome movie! It was  pretty long with a good story line and tons and tons of action. Henry Cavill........marry me? Hahahahaha. Seriously though. He and Luke Bryan have a special place in my heart. So I hung out with them and their family with no shower or make up for basically the entire day. I cannot tell you the last time I didn't have a shower for an entire day. It was alright b/c we all did it together. In the picture you can't hardly even tell. Come time to say goodbye, or rather, see ya later, I was okay. Didn't break down til I started driving away. I played "The House that Built Me" by Miranda Lambert b/c it felt appropriate to me.

I want to shout out to my mom and say thank you for putting up with all of us the past few months. And also for last night b/c I was kind of a wreck. I got her converted to the Hunger Games guys!!! It was on TV.

All I need to do now is pick myself up and address my needs. I cannot tell you how thankful I am to have my beliefs with me and have the knowledge that there is a God who made life as we know it. He knows. He understands all needs and desires. He is well aware of our situations. We will not be left alone. *smiles through teary eyes.*

I admit that the day I go to the farewell will be one of my hardest. Then it will be the goodbye. Maybe not, but perhaps a see you later. I'm so proud of them though. I want to follow in their footsteps and serve my own mission. I do have my patriarchal blessing and it does happen to mention that I will have the privilege of saving the souls of men. I feel like I need to grow up even more than I have now. I'm not ready for that kind of change yet.

Realllly long post.

We've Come A Long Way

I've been feeling pretty choked up lately. On Monday I found out that this was the last week (and possibly the last time) I'd be able to spend my time with my friends here in Cedar. Instead of having one more week, they're moving out Friday evening. I realize I talk about them a lot. And I do. I'm sorry if you're sick of hearing about them. They're kind of a big deal to me. 

For those of you who don't know, we go way back. Back to when I was in 3rd grade back. I would write in my journal about how excited felt b/c I was going to hang out with them after school nearly everyday. I don't remember much of those days, but I know they were good. Back when my dad's mom, my grandma Laurie still lived on 265 South. They lived a very short distance across the street. With us being that young, ya it was hard to tell the two apart. They are identical twins, after all. They first moved away that end of the school year and I didn't think much of it, although I was sad to see them go. 

-It never crossed my mind that we would meet up again ten years later and become best friends.

 It was the beginning of my senior year at Cedar High, for them their junior year. I remember I was sitting in Mrs. Heaton's room one day after school and realization came to me that Harmony was sitting there too. I didn't recognize her at first, but I knew I'd seen her somewhere. We all happened to have the same psychology class and I also sat next to Melody. I was basically like hey guess who I am? And she remembered! I was a little overwhelmed with joy. Harm and I caught up and went after school nearly everyday to get some extra help for our math class, which happened to be Algebra 2. :/ After that exhausting experience, we'd go to Costa Vida and get burritos then just hang at my place til she had to go home. And my taxi service started there! Come March, they moved away again. :/ 

That following summer I went out on a limb and drove all the way to Panaca to visit! 

This is just funny.

We had some good times. Like when we went to ze spring and hung out. (See above). The town there is way beyond small. Kind of have to get creative for entertainment. Alamo has a hot spring (another town an hour away) that we went to occasionally. Caliente (15 minutes away) doesn't have too much, but we did go to J.J's one time for lunch. Then there was that one time we rode a dinosaur. 

Ridin the Dinosaur!

Mel and I at the Spring

About a year and a couple months later passed. They graduated from Lincoln County High and I was starting my freshman year of college. I did go visit again whenever I could. This last August is when they moved back here in Cedar. Honestly, it was a complete shock to me. But I could not have been more excited. :) So began the relationship up until now. It was about the end of this last August when they came. The day they moved in I was hanging out with my gram gram in Minersville, helping her do a show. I spent about three days over there and come the end of the third day, I just remembered driving back to Cedar as quick as was allowed. Didn't even stop by my house when I got there. I just went straight to theirs. :) (flashback memories run through my mind). 

Us at Christmas time. Dem Faces.

Right before Christmas

Partying in the car with our Life Waters :)

Just another drive by in my car :)

When Mel stayed with me :) 

 

Girl's Night Out :)

My Birthday :) 

Kanarra Falls with Harm :) 

Easter Time!

Swimmin' 

The Creeper shot

Soakin up the sun!

My Birthday- why so serious? 

My sophomore year of college really flew by. I find it hard to believe that 10 months have passed since then. These past few months have definitely been the happiest of my life up until this point. I've never had any "real best friends", at least that's how I feel. There definitely have been those few good ones. With these two I seriously have done everything with. I have been taught so many good things from having them. I hope they have learned something good from me too. As hard as it is to see them go back to Panaca, I just keep reminding myself to smile because it happened at all. They are going to do the most amazing work that can possibly be done in this life, and that is saving the souls of men. To preach the good word. And I could not be more proud of them. I hope they know that. 

Thanks you two again for everything! I Love you always. <3 <3 <3 We've had so many good times. 

The Beatles and Country Music

Welcoming the summer season with a big grin. :)

So at first it was strange not having to worry about studying for classes and trying to fit in my next scheduled naptime. Now I'm really enjoying my time off of school.



Lately I've been working a lil more and that's ok. I need hours (and by hours I really mean money). Other than that I basically have been spending the summer swimming and spending time with my girls. The norm now days is swimming, but mostly with harmony. We have been at my gram's place quite often and that is mostly b/c I've temporarily moved out.

Moving down the street into my gram's place probably isn't the same experience as it would be if I were to move into an apartment where I actually paid rent and bought my own groceries. It is close though, I think. I honestly just wanted the experience and I had a pretty good reason to move out for a bit. Pretty sure today is the one week mark. It's just been weird not having "my" bathroom and sleeping in another bedroom that used to be uncle Nate's for awhile. But hey, it's been fun having a pool right outside the door.

-I've moved out now- after a week I was starting to experience the homesickness phenomenon. It was fun living there for a week but I've learned a few valuable lessons. I don't think I'll be taking advantage of what I have ever again. EVER. I missed having internet access. Truthfully. It is kind of sad that we use it for what we do. Myself included. I check my facebook, twitter and instagram like it's the morning paper.

You're probably wondering what the title's significance is. Even if you weren't, I'll tell ya anyway. So recently we have been talking a lot about music. And ya, I feel like the Beatles and country music has become my two mains. Country music is something we all have in common and honestly if I'm lonely, I listen to some. The Beatles are a group I can't believe I went without listening to. Before my friends came into my life, I was pretty limited to what I listened to. Now I feel like I've really expanded my horizons.

I've got a thing for Carrie Underwood :) 

"With the Beatles" album. I just like the artwork. a lot. :) 

This summer's adventures have been like 98% swimming and the other 2% are spent working :] At first I was like, meh I'm not getting tan. Then I took a closer look at myself and wow was I ever wrong! I was pretty excited to see such a dominant line. I'm totally bummed I can't post it here though, cause apparently blogspot doesn't like uploading .tiff files.

So lately I've been learning to braid. Yes really. I'm 20 and don't know how. I do now though! It just requires a lot of practice-like anything else. I promise it doesn't look quite as good as how I have it in the picture above, but hey.

TTFN! :)