Looking Back Moving Ahead

I never know how to start these things.

Right now I'm looking back on this month and I realize it's been hard, to say the least. A lot has happened in my life. Things especially with relationships. There have been a lot of challenges. At times I have felt helpless, miserable, and may or may not have hit an all time low. Lately I have been feeling sorry for myself for everything that has happened even though none of it was ever my fault. Sometimes I feel like I just care too much and maybe I shouldn't. I can't stop, though. It's who I feel like I am and I feel that's what is right.

In a way I'm thankful for not only these challenges, but with all challenges in life. It reminds me how strong I am (and can be). It brings me closer to my Savior. I don't think I have prayed that strong in my life before these things happened. From this I was reminded of the power of prayer. I consider it one of the greatest blessings because it allows us to directly communicate with our Father in Heaven who knows each of us better than we know ourselves. He knows what is best for us and will help us if we but ask. I know I wouldn't be able to deal with day to day life the way I do had it not been for the church. I am grateful to be the active member I am because it brings me more happiness that I ever could myself. One day I will share my happiness with whoever needs it most. I will serve a mission.

After stake conference today, I became inspired to challenge myself. I will not forget the words of our stake president, Crankshaw as they stood out to me more than the heart-felt testimonies. That is that it is our purpose (but our choice) to live like His son. Now I wish I would have taken some notes because everything he and the other speakers said were truly one of inspiration to me. I think now at my current life and I realize that there are some things that need to change. I know I'm not perfect. I over react at times. I'm too impatient with things and sometimes I'm a little over emotional. Life isn't going to get any easier. All you can really do is be your true self and stay true to what you believe in. Put your best foot forward. Be an example to those around you.

Friday was when I went to our yearly adventure to Tuachaun in St. G. to watch Thriller at the Odyssey Dance Theatre. It did not disappoint. :) After taking my geology exam, I came home and watched Dr. Phil with my parents for like an hour before leaving. We stopped by the mall and my dreams came true of owning boots! Thanks, Forever Young Shoes. :) I cannot wait for Christmas now. That seems so far away...We ate at a new italian restaurant by the mall called Buca. They have probably the largest pasta sized portions you'll ever see in your life. They're famous just for that. Food was awesome of course.

Chicken Saltmabocca :) 

Loved. Loved. Thriller! Never ceases to amaze me. :) Of course we got creeped on. If you don't, then it's not any fun. I happen to really get a kick out of it. 

Holy dang. A month since I last posted? What happened, may I ask?

A lot.

*Warning: some major venting will follow, read at your own risk.

*So basically like everyone seems to be getting married right now. My co-worker Jenny, JaCoy is now engaged, and like half of my graduating class. It's weird to me to think that considering we've only been out of high school for a little over a year. But then I get jealous b/c for one, I have never had a bf, let alone a good guy friend in my life. Okay minus the time when I was like eight or nine. I hung out with Justin almost everyday since he lived next to my grammy. Anyway! I'm just thinking sometimes that it really isn't fair that I haven't had that experience. I don't know. Then I think that my time will come, blah blah. But for now it just sucks. Thank goodness for friends.

I went up north a little past Kaysville for my great-gma's 90th birthday. The party itself was kind of awkward though. I mean, I haven't seen those guys in like fifteen years. I felt pretty out of place til I got to know Alisha. She's one of those people who become your best friend right when you meet them, almost like you have always known them even though you just met them. Anyway. She kept me sane while I was there. Yeah, she's married too. (K sorry I'll stop). We probably stayed there for much longer than I had originally anticipated. By that I mean more than two, three hours. By the time we left, I was feeling very tired, bored and frustrated. On the bright side, my momma and I stopped to grab a bite to eat at In n out. My mood jumped ten points then.

The next day was much better; we went to the mall :) There I acquired my first ever curling iron from Sephora. It's a T3 and I love it :) Then I got a sweet jean shirt and a maroon tank top from American Eagle. I love the way I feel when I wear it. Is that weird? Oh well. Hot Topic was rather entertaining; I got a No Doubt black T and laughed as I looked at everything else. There was a shirt that said Cool Story Bro, Tell it Again. Needless to say that was a much more pleasant experience.

I honestly had to look through my Facebook timeline to remember exactly what I've been up to. I know right? I guess that thing actually serves a purpose. I got a calling in my ward; I'm in the activities committee now. So basically I get a say in what activities are planned and such. Kind of excited even though I haven't done anything. Hanging out with my friends is the norm. We go to institute on Mondays and Wednesdays at nine and hang out some more after til I have my eleven o clock class. Yesterday we basically did a mini shopping spree, stopping at DownEast, Crown Couture and [Re] Cycled. Being dirt poor as I am right now, I didn't bother bringing my wallet. Harmony got a (in my opinion) very cute pink dress with a floral design. I'm impressed because she now owns something pink! Haha. Melody and I got free belts from Crown. Yeah...free belts. They're actually pretty cute too.

I have to say that fall break could not have come at a better time than now. So ready for this. We're going to St. G. on monday. :) Shoppin' trip with best friends has been something I have always wanted.  Not my number one, though. That I now have, for the time being. And that's best friends. Those best friends you hang out with everyday and never get tired of each other's company. I never knew they'd be so important to me when I met them ten years back. It's still a wonder to me how we met up all these years later. Either way, I'm forever thankful.

As far as everything else is...I'm honestly just keepin' up with class, work, personal life, and my family and friends. It's easier said than done, for sure. I don't know how I find the time to do everything, but I do. I stand firm in believing that once a person makes God the center of their life, everything else falls into place. Things work out. Miracles happen.

Thanks whoever reads these lame posts :) Haha I don't know who you are, but it means a lot.

Jedi Braid :)